Showing Not Telling Competition - comments welcomed Luke:
Gazing at the crops was like an ocean of green. Heat wrapped around by body, filling me with warmth. Flickering light shimmered off of the three point pitchfork. Through the land of crops, wind explodes, startling herds of hungry beasts who ripped off the tender leaves in fright. The house creaks as if a ghost were being awakened. Clouds like an army of ants crowded the sky, sending daggars of light through the land. Trees, leaves, and branches tusstled about, spewing leaves like a volcano. Roaring trains fly by as if rockets were attached.
Ethan:
The soaring bird above the white house starred blankly at the classical family. The man's tattered clothing and flat nose made him look disappointed. His wife's worried face gazed behind her beloved husband. His glasses were propped against his nose gave the illusion of exhastion. The hot sun penetrated the barn like bolts of lightning. The musty old stable smelled of rusty tractors and tools. The woman's frail dress laid soft in the wind. The wind beat against their faces like a drum. The bird soared away, leaving the family alone.
4 comments:
for the show don't tell worksheet when it says something like The players were dead after the game, would the part you highlight be just players were dead after the game or would it be the whole thing? Also when there are adg. before the writing piece likeThe colorful cheering crowd was like an ocean of red and white. Would you highlight just crowd was like an ocean of red and white or also highlight the adj? Also when we are writing our own story do we highlight the figurative language?
You only need to highlight the A=B idea.
You do not need to highlight your figurative language in your own writing.
is my families' (word) the right way of a possesive?
Not quite. You have the plural form of family. If you are using my in front of it, I am guessing that you mean just your family. In that case, the possessive form would be simply the singular form of the noun--famiy with an apostrophe and then an s Looks like this: family's
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